Today of all days…

Hi everyone who may be reading this. Sorry about the delay. The lovely symptom/result of a TBI is a thing called flooding. Flooding for TBI survivors is not far from what may be picturing in your mind. Imagine a flood where water is everywhere and houses are submerged almost to their rooftops. The water is all the information a TBI survivors brain is trying to process( the light overhead buzzing, indistinct chatter around you in a busy place, how bright a room is etc…) along with anything else you are trying to do in that moment (walk to the store, attend in class, watching a movie…etc) It leaves you mentally and physically exhausted. Recovery time is hours or sometimes even days.

You can wake up flooded, or it can accumulate during the course of any given time period. Well, I woke up with it. My husband would wake me up sometimes because I have a hard time with sleep that when I finally get to sleep I am like dead. But this am was rough. I typically need a bunch of alarms in the am so my alarms would be like 5:30, 5:45, 6:00… all separate alarms because its way too easy to turn it off in my “wake up stupor…” Suffice to say the day did not start out well and waking up flooded and full blown migraine left me with just enough room to sit on the roof’s weathervane just watching the water rise.

So what do I do in situations like this, you may ask. To be honest, I don’t always know. This is still very new to me.  I mainly curl into myself. To be fair I am a Cancer, so that is what we do when we are hurt anyhow 😘  Mostly I will do things alone, go outside and do yard work, sit in my office, put headphones on. It depends on the situation.  I have found  since the brain injury, I do that more now.  The sense of feeling alone comes with this flooding aspect too. I am very grateful to the online Brain Injury groups. I have learned a lot, one thing being:  feeling alone is a “typical” feeling since most things have changed.

One mantra amongst Brain Injury survivors is letting go. Letting go of the “old you.” embracing the “new you.

I am just not there yet.



Will I ever able to let go?

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